And some (potentially) exciting news...
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How much does it blow you away, bowl you over, knock your socks off when someone does something incredibly generous or thoughtful for you? Being on the receiving end of unexpected kindness is a feeling unlike any other, and one that I look forward to experiencing throughout my life, even if just a few times. Part of what makes this kind of thing so special is that it’s rare and unexpected, and it’s a total day changer.
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I am someone who, with too much time on my hands, can quite easily fall into what is most accurately described as a funk. A day can start off with a lot of promise, and yet it seems if I don’t attack it with enough purpose or direction, I begin “bumbling” aimlessly and my mood can spiral downward pretty quickly. And I find myself so envious of those who love to lounge all day, never leaving the house, etc. I WANT to love it, and I crave it and look forward to it when I’m busy or after a week full of work, but when it actually comes around to it, I go a little bit insane doing it. And with enough sitting or lounging, I get into a kind of funk that can be difficult to pull myself out of. Do you relate at all to this?...
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How wonderful are good memories? And I don't mean the specific details of your memories, but just how wonderful it is that we're able to feel nostalgic. There's nothing quite as rose-tinted as a good memory. Much like looking forward to things in anticipation, memories are also painted in the best light—an unsullied, unadulterated light. It is easy to be critical in the current moment, or to be distracted, or to wish things were slightly different. But when you look back fondly or you look ahead with excitement, everything seems to be painted in the most flawless light.
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The one thing about holidays that can be slightly more stressful than enjoyable: the splitting of family time. It’s a wonderful thing to have enough family members for this to even be an issue, but it can feel like an issue nonetheless. Christmas, although seemingly a more important holiday to many, is actually the less difficult one, I think, compared to Thanksgiving—given that it’s really a two-full-day celebration at minimum. Therefore, most people I know don’t have too much trouble splitting it someway between Christmas Eve day and night, as well as Christmas morning and night. However, Thanksgiving can feel like the trickier one due to its meal-centric nature. It’s hard to have an early meal at one location and then move to the next place to endure your food coma and not partake in that meal. It’s ok, of course, because company is still enjoyed, but there’s something about not being able to partake in the meal that just doesn’t feel right.
A good friend of mine (Hi Julia!) has a tradition in her family that I think is an absolutely brilliant alternative to splitting time...
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I’m such a sucker for sports culture—the comradery, the excitement, the sportsmanship, the win-big together / lose-big together attitude, the drinking, the tailgating, everything. I’ve never been a diehard sports fan, although I loved playing sports myself, but I love the community surrounding sports. There’s a book by political scientist Robert Putnam from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government called Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. It is about the decline in all forms of social and communal engagement among Americans—and he famously uses the example of how the number of people who bowl has increased in the US, but membership in bowling leagues has steadily declined over the last couple of decades. Putnam is concerned about the education, enrichment, and general sense of civic duty being lost if people choose to do these kinds of activities alone, rather than with other people. (I promise this will eventually be about pulled pork)
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I've talked with several of my friends about how we believe our twenties are a very tumultuous time, and not purely because of the stresses or the responsibilities or the pressures that are so commonly associated with other life stages. It's more that our twenties are proving to be a strange dichotomy of sorts. We constantly jockey between trying to figure out what we want to do and telling ourselves we have plenty of time to figure it out. We can be convinced we're still so young, and the next moment be convinced we are in full blown real-human-being adulthood. We feel pressure to find love and get engaged and have a picture-perfect wedding, but find temporary comfort in reading that statistically, people are getting married and having children older in life than ever before, in many cases due to career aspirations. We've experienced the freedom and independence that college provided, but we're learning that college was another kind of bubble all on its own. We're seeking stability just as often as we're running the other way from it. And we run the gamut of married with kids to going back to grad school and relocating after working for three years to suddenly single after a six year relationship to living for the weekends and struggling to find purpose at work.
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